Polarities

A polarity is made up of two opposing extremes - two polar opposites - that exist on a scale (or a continuum, if we want to sound fancy) with a zero point in the middle, considered neutral.

A healthy response to a situation would be to allow ourselves to be whatever we need to be in THAT specific situation, but our identity, or ego, tends to get in the way and often we find ourselves leaning more heavily and comfortably towards one side of a spectrum.

Here are some classic polarities in Gestalt therapy: 

Control vs. Spontaneity

Introversion vs. Extroversion

Feminine energy vs Masculine energy

Activity vs. Rest

Top Dog vs. UnderDog

Rationality vs. Emotion

Connection vs. Isolation

There will be some polarities that are very specific and unique to your journey, while others are practically universal.

There is nothing inherently wrong with any of the extreme opposites. If we look at examples we will quickly see that each polar opposite has its place, when given a certain situation, behaving in that way would be considered necessary, completely appropriate and a healthy response.

The problem is when we get stuck towards one extreme, rejecting the other, and we can’t express ourselves authentically in a situation where doing so would be appropriate. It’s all context dependent. Or it at least would be if we allowed ourselves that. Instead, we often feel that we cannot express our true thoughts or act as we’d like to.

We can… BUT, it would have repercussions, which we’d need to be willing to face. We’d need to be willing to take responsibility for our actions.

More on that in another concept.