The Zero Point

I like to call this “Coming back to zero”.

I have spoken about the concept of polarities and mentioned the neutral zero point on a scale between two polar opposites. For example: Activity vs. Rest.

If we were able to be truly authentic, healthy behaviour would simply be situation dependent rather than being limited to what we believe is acceptable for us. But our environment plays an important role in restricting us and we learn to restrict ourselves too. Babies for example don’t do that. (Don’t get me wrong, I’m not however suggesting that we should all aspire to act like babies…)

We learn to restrict ourselves in order to co-exist with our environment, with our system. Some of these restrictions are important for us so that we can exist in society as social animals. That being said, what happens when you restrict yourself because your environment is chronically sick and unhealthy? I hope you are seeing what I’m trying to say. Basically, some of our restrictions are self-imposed, limiting and very unhealthy for us. We may find that what once served us as children in order to feel loved and protected by our caregivers (completely necessary and understandable!), may no longer work or help us as adults and may cause us to lose connection with ourselves and others. 

Sometimes a specific situation calls for us to do something which is uncomfortable for us, but in that given situation it’s what would be an authentic response, appropriate for self-care and would allow us to meet an important need. But we interrupt this response, we restrict ourselves and deny ourselves certain feelings, thoughts, and behaviour.

So, coming back to zero… 

The idea is that we want our starting point to always be from a resting neutral point in between the two extremes of a polarity, so that we can choose freely what response would be a healthy one given the specific situation. This as opposed to already rejecting one extreme and skewing ourselves towards the other side. So, for example, if you are restless and tend towards activity as a coping mechanisms for not having to feel certain feelings that might come up with rest and boredom, you might restrict your ability to rest in an unhealthy way and in situations that call for rest as a healthy response to the situation and your environment. 

What if your environment and system are chronically unhealthy and sick? 

This can make authentic and healthy responses difficult to achieve. Our modern day society is in many ways sick. It holds many challenges for us, especially when we want to choose healthy options for ourselves and these options go against the grain. But there are things we can do to find a healthy balance even in a world that is unhealthy and sick. 

Love Notes

Two of my Love Notes come to mind in relation to letting go of who you think you have to be in order to be who you need to be in this moment in order to be true to yourself. Here are their links: Letting Go  &  Should.